Dear Mother,

Its been a long time since i've seen you, and not a day goes by without me wishing you were here with me. I wish you were still here. I miss your comfort, I miss your warmth.
I see your smile whenever i look up at the sky, the white, fluffy clouds comforting my soul. I see your frown sketched on my skin whenever i fall and bleed. I see your tears fall whenever the sky is grey, and to keep myself from hurting even more, i pull up that umbrella to block out your tears.
Its quiet outside. There are no birds chipping in the sunlit trees. Theres no smell of fresh bread being cooked in the oven. No kids play in the middle of the street. It's only the sound of old cars whizzing past the house. Everyone is silent mother, ever since you went away. No one makes a sound anymore, no one.

You ran away mother. Why?
Why mother?
Was i not a good enough daughter?
I still have your note, locked up in my prized possession box. I have kept it secret, I have kept it close to my heart.


Dear Alexandra,
I'm sorry. I have to go. I have to move on.
Stay beautiful my child, and i'll see you when the rainbow comes up once more
x Mother


Fourteen rainbows have already passed mother. I counted them each time they appeared, and i saw as they faded back to blend in with the blue sky. I saw the rainbows disppear, like i watched you walk out the door. Every night i stood out in the balcony, wishing upon a star. I wished that i could snuggle up to you once more, and hear your soft, singing voice fill the house. I wished i was not alone, I wished i could have you here.
Dad never mentions you. Neither does Benjamin. They both have erased you from their lives. Your own husband and eldest son. They both think I'm wasting my time writing letters to myself about you. They haved both moved on. I haven't.

I miss you mother.
When will you come and wipe away my tears? When will you come and heal my soul? When will you come and take away the anger and grief i have towards you?

Will you come?
Will you mother?

The clock is ticking, and life doesn't pause when the clock breaks. It only goes faster.


x Alexandra


( narrative piece, copyright prohibited )