Appearance versus Reality - Mel Afoa

After all the things mother had taught me,
I still had a lot to learn.
After years of seeing mother's pain and heartbreak,
daddy's womanizing ways and aggression,
brother's struggling issue of physical abuse,
sister-in-law's deadly marks of suffering and light-death,
I considered love to be a death trap.

Falling in love with someone to me,
was like attempting to steal the cheese on a mouse-trap,
get close enough to it, and you'll get snapped,
death sweeps towards you in it's intimidating way.
I knew what happened when someone fell for the power of love,
I was warned countless by mother.
She, who fell in love too deeply,
who stood by a man with a piercing temper,
and now could not escape his endless love-dead traps,
had warned me about the creepy feelings,
and advised me, mustering all her knowledge and past,
to ignore the overpowering feelings, the loving gestures
and stomp on those who inclined their love towards me.
I trusted my heart. I trusted my mind. I trusted you.

When you came, I knew it was trouble.
you inclined your love towards me, you seduced me strongly,
I bent towards your every gesture though I tried hard to throw them off.
I tried to shake off the feelings mother had warned me about,
it was too overpowering, like she warned.
I felt like I was flying when I was near you,
I felt like soaring with the wind's breeze.
I could hardly breathe when I felt your hand brush mine,
your touch was too powerful, deadly enough to be voltage.
I had a hard time staying away from your reach,
whenever I was with you, I tried hard to be noticed,
and even when you weren't seeking me out, I needed to see you.
Nonetheless, I knew this situation was dangerous,
I had let my walls down for love and it was your dangerous scheme,
your evil love that was ruining my home,
searching for my heart, whilst the knife was clenched tightly in it's hands.
I tried hard to block it's forces, to keep you out,
but as soon as your lips touched mine, I forgot mother and her advice,
I lost all shreds of sanity because it dissapeared soon as your lips brushed mine.

You ran your hands softly through my hair, whispering into my ear,
your hands running down my body, lighting up the flame,
lighting the spark that mother had never thought to tell me about.
You would tell me how much you loved me,
and I bent to ever word, everything that came out of your mouth,
I believed you, and I believed the fairytales.
I believed you when you told me I was the one for you,
I was your cherry on that beautiful icecream-cake of yours.
You told me you loved me enough to marry me,
and when my viginity came up after two days of falling in love,
My heart leapt with excitement. I bent towards your request
of running your hands on my body, kiss me over and over,
'till my mind loses control and my body goes wild'.
Unfortunately for me,
It had found the place where my heart was hidden,
and with that, your evil love stabbed my heart.
You walked away after getting what you got,
took my beating heart away and tossed it into the fire,
and with a small smirk, a small wave, you walked out the door.

Mother had always warned me about love,
she of course had the experience of it. Harsh love.
She knew immediately when I walked towards her with no heart,
and shook her head sadly. "Told you so", was all she said.
Now, when Isabella grows older, when she enters her teenage years,
i'll warn her. And this time, I'll make sure someone listens.
I'll tell her about the Grandpa she has who was a player,
the Uncle she has who was in jail for physical abuse,
the Aunty she had who died from internal bleeding,
the Grandma she has who suffers from a clausophobic marriage.
I'll warn her about the mother she has who stupidly defied the advice,
the truthful, knowledgeable advice that was given to her by her own mother.
I'll definitely tell her about her heartbreaking father, who she'll probably never see,
and I'll make sure to train her up, train her good,
to defy not only your love, if your paths ever meet,
but the love of all the other heartbreakers out there in the world.
She'll learn to grow wary of affection and love,
her heart will be turned to solid, hard rock,
and I'll make sure with that heart of hers,
she'll let it search for yours,
and when it finds it, it'll pound it into pure ashes.
Then she'll bury it next to mine,
already in the graveyard.