I Confess - Mel Afoa

Listening to ‘Confessions’ by Usher,

Got me thinking about something real deep,

And I made up my mind, though I took my damn time,

By the end of my tale, you’ll weep.

I can’t help the guilt and sorrow pass through,

Listening to Usher confessing,

We are both good and yet we’ve both done bad,

We need to beg for blessing.

I’m ashamed to say this directly to you,

Which is why I’m writing this letter,

But by the end of reading this filthy paper,

You’ll see why not seeing you was better.

We’ve known each other for three years,

Been together in the love bubble for two,

It was love at first sight, right by that fountain,

I knew ‘The One’ for me was you.

The first week of entering our love bubble,

We promised to hide nothing from each other,

But I’m ashamed to admit it, that I always did ‘it’,

With the girl from Unit 42, my lover.

It was never something that was planned to happen,

I promised you I tried to resist,

Countless nights spent avoiding her,

But I was just the most wanted on her list.

The first night her tempting hips came to my door,

You and I had just promised to wait until marriage for sex,

But at the end of the day, I was a desperate man,

And after she left my bed, I wondered when I’d see her next.

I ignored the guilt that tried drowning me when I kissed her,

Tried blocking it out as I heard her moans,

I was inviting her over once, twice, three times a week,

Even when you were out paying our home loans.

I confess, I let her sleep in our small apartment,

When you were away on your business trips,

I stupidly let her fill in the absence on the left side of our bed,

Hardcore sex, champagne glass, strawberry & chocolate dips.

I confess, I let her borrow your clothes after doing our shit,

Even let her borrow your jewellery as well,

I still needed that fire lit, I still needed that fast drive,

But that part I need not dwell.

I confess, I let her drive around in our new Lexus Coup,

One of the many places I’d take her with no hesitation,

I tried thinking it was you, blocking the guilt out too,

Guess I can’t handle temptation.

I confess, I tried to contain the fire burning from within,

Knowing that when you found out you’ll be broken,

But selfish, stupid, sex-crazed I didn’t care for the moment,

In all, I was just hoping.

Hoping that even with this confession, we’ll still be two,

Praying endlessly that you’ll hear me out,

Even though my lover is expecting two bundles,

You’ll still be with me without a doubt.

But I know I can’t have what I want,

Coz what I want, I let it slip away,

I regret everything that I ever did.

You’ll find a better man out there some day.

You’ll meet a man who will shower you with true kisses,

And will be faithful to you to the end,

He’ll love you now, he’ll love you always,

Your heart will indeed mend.

I know I sound selfish, I know I sound pathetic,

And baby girl, I have definitely learnt my lesson,

I love you, I need you, I miss you,

These are my confessions.

Sincerely.