What love felt like - Mel Afoa

When i was depressed, you knew immedietly and sent flowers under my window in the bush. I remember going to take out the rubbish, only to have you surprise me by wrapping your arms around my waist and swinging me in the air.
Depression died.
When I was sick, I remember walking back home late afternoon to find a small packet of tissues tucked inside my letterbox. I remember walking upstairs and finding a box of Roses Chocolates, big teddy tissue box and a rose infront of my doorstep. Your single note, " Get well my beautiful, remember im just a call away " on top of the surpise. I remember laughing and feeling my heart sigh with happiness.
Sickness died.
When i was angry, you knew my temper was not to be matched. I remember calling you, about to let my angerness flow, when you just screamed " I LOVE YOU ! " out of nowhere. I remember the silence that followed your outburst. I had the guts to say, " I love you too ". Then we burst out laughing.
Anger died.
When i was upset over me and my best friend's argument, you were there. I remember you came over to my house and hid in my garage. I found a letter in the mailbox, " Go to garage " and i knew instantly, seeing as how your presence affected me deeply. I ran to the garage smiling, knowing my family were not around. Opening the garage, i was greeted with a kiss on the lips and a coca cola lollypop. From then, my sadness flowed out, and you told me to not listen to my friends, and to listen to my heart. We laughed and mucked around, and i found my frown turning upside down soon after.
Sadness died.
When i was feeling anxious, you could sense it. You told me to get over myself and to stand up and become more confident. I remember lying down and redo-ing my speech, anxiously scribbling down junk. You called, and i immedietly felt calm. You then told me " I aint calling to see how you are. Im calling because i know your anxious and I want to know why". After the one hour lecture you gave me, i finally felt confident. I knew i had the confidence to do my speech, and i knew i had your faith and belief. Your final words to me in that phone call were the words that gave me a 30 / 30 on that speech - " Be calm and Collective".
Nervousness died.


I miss the feeling of love. I miss the feeling of being loved.


I remember how we used to run around the city in the afternoon time, when the city was at it's busiest. We used to run through business and tourist people, looking up at the violet orangish sunset. Laughing our head off, we used to run till we got to a park and then we'd go crazy with the swings. I remember laughing so hard, a by-passer had to come and thump my back seeing as i was chocking on the floor.
I remember how you used to hold me. I also smiled whenever i felt you hands snake around my waist. I remember the feeling of your strong arms circling my body and sheltering me away from the cold. I remember how you used to lift me up and swing me in circles whilst i'll be giggling and looking lovingly up at the beautiful sky.
I remember our first kiss better than remembering my class mate's names. I remember snuggling up to you after our first date, and after our run through the city. You held my hand, telling me how beautiful I was, and how happy i have made you. I looked straight into your hazel eyes, and i finally realised that it love. I remember snuggling up to you as the wind blew fierce through the park we sat in. You got up, and went to the fountain. I followed and we had a water fight. Soon, as i tried to hit you with the water, you caught my arm. From that moment, i knew i was falling into love's trap. Your lips slowly crashed onto mine, and soon our arms found each other. After that, we fell into the fountain. Memories.
I remember every outing we went to. Watching a movie with you was one of my favourite movies i'd happily take to the grave. I remember, walking into Beverly Hills Cinemas, feeling bright and happy, holding your soft and muscular hand. We walked in to find heaps of couples lining up to watch Mamma Mia. Looking at the couples that kissed and walked into watch Mamma Mia was funny. We decided to go watch The Dark Knight instead. Oh, that was hilarious.

Look at us now Dreh, look at us now.
I can't even look at water without been reminded of falling into the fountain after our first kiss. I can't even look at a baby without remembering the time how we snuggled up in the park and were discussing our future and baby's names. I can't look at my guitar without being reminded of how you used to teach me how to strum the gat. I can't look at the sky without hurting inside, knowing you used to take a photo of it everyday and stick it on your wall.I can't even look at my friends without being reminded of how they were the sole reasons of our breakdown.

You were and still are my everything, and i knwo that I am still yours. After two years, i finally had word of you. He told me everything, how you searched around for me, and how you still have my pictures on your wall. He told me how you wept when your birthday passed, knowing that his biggest want and need wasn't with him. He told me how you walked around, lost and confused for a year. He told me you have kept our promises and still have the ring i gave you. He told me you are still mine, and that you promised to visit me on my eighteenth.

I miss and love you so bad.

You told me to forgive them, but how can I ?
They were the ones who seperated us, they forced you out from me. They made me turn away, these so - called friends. You told me you will always love me, and will be in debt to my friends. Why? Why be in debt to THEM ? They seperated their truest best friend from her true love. You told me to hold onto our memories, and to always think of you, by how can I without being reminded of the betraying friends who smile and act as if nothing happened? How can I forgive those who seperate a lover from their love?
Your advice gave me my answer.
" Forget but never forgive".
I'm still trying to forgive