No Sanctuary - Mel Afoa

dedicated to the handsome man,

who took me as a human like the rest.

She walks silently, the tears falling softly.
She's in a place where no one notices her, no one cares. The library is her sanctuary, the place where life and love greet her with open arms.
She walks through the library isles, looking for the books that offer love and contentment. There's nothing though, just the presence of darkness and jealousy surrounding her soul. Girls are spread throughout the school library. A group of girls babble, their conversation full of interest and liveliness. The library teacher walks through the isles, placing books on the shelves, the sound of the troller softly rolling on the blue carpet. The printer is beeping, swallowing the papaer that sits on it's territory.
She's all alone, sitting and watching as the students walk in and out of the library. She waits for friendship and happiness to make it's way through the doors, silently hoping it will make it's way soon.
How come life is like this? Does life offer sadness to outcasts only? Does life choose it's victims, choose who gets to live happy, and leave the rest to suffer?She knew it would be hard. She knew it would be hard to overcome lonliness. There's a voice in her head that tells her to walk forward and blend. She notices a few girls from her year, gossiping behind the library shelves. The sun hits her as she passes a glass window. She gazes at the trees situated in front of the trees. There are no leave on the thin trees, it's branches plain and naked. The wind has stopped dancing through the window, sullen and away. She walks on, flattening her skirt, gazing at the clique with longing. Her steps are small, silent as the grave.
"Hello", she calls politely. Not a single head has turned. She tries again, her voice shaking with anxiousness, the soft lion growling in her chest. One girl turns, looks at her small frame before turning back and muttering a few harsh words. The rest look back at her, who stands with hope and desperation by her side. The expressions on their faces tell her to keep looking, and so she mumbles her goodbye before quickly walking away. She cannot help but turn her head to sneak a look. She watches as they point and laugh at her, eyes following her school shoes. She looks down and sees a small toilet paper piece caught on her left shoe with bubblegum. She rips it off in a hurry, her face burning with rejection and embarrassment. She runs off, looking for a new sanctuary, looking for the place they call 'Heaven'. She looks around and sees girls laughing with pride and fun around them, and sees teachers smiling and interacting with many bright students. She goes into the school garden, slowly coming to a halt when she sees the brigth colours of summer. There are more flowers than expected, purple and yellow violets popping out on every metre. he trees are standing strong and tall, the apple green leaves swaying softly in the mild breeze. Red, orange and blue flowers surround her, bunched together with the growing weeds.
She falls to the ground, the grass immedietly crawling up her knees. She looks up to the sky and wonders why. Wonders why she was the short straw, why she had to be an outcast. She sees the clouds bunched together and notices a small white cloud seperated from the rest. It sits there lonely, swimming in the blue sea above. A small smile appears on her face, knowing deep inside that her and the cloud share something in common; pure loneliness.